


my heart is broken in the shape of your name

by crankgameplays



Category: Video Blogging RPF, jacksepticeye, markiplier - Fandom
Genre: I'm really really sad, It's shit, M/M, Mark is never even mentioned by name, This Is Sad, i broke up with my boyfriend cause he cheated on me, implied that Mark smokes, irs sad, jack smokes, these are all my thoughts turned into a shitty short one shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-20
Updated: 2016-12-20
Packaged: 2018-09-10 14:50:17
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 370
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8921320
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/crankgameplays/pseuds/crankgameplays
Summary: jack smokes to stop shaking.





	

**Author's Note:**

> this is completely and totally unedited. it's in first person POV. every single thought up to when it says something about marks red hair is my thoughts about my boyfriend. this is entirely and totally based around my entire and total life. I am so very sad. these are my heartbroken rants. please, no criticism, I know it's not good. I just needed to write it. thank you.

my hands are shaking. they always shake when i hear your name. they shake so hard i struggle to flick the light, struggle to suck in the nicotine that calms me. eventually i get it. i smoke in silence, watching the cigarette that wastes away before me, wishing that i could smoke away my memories that easily.  
'i love you'  
puff puff. gone.  
'you're my everything'  
puff puff. gone.  
'she's hotter than you.'  
puff puff. gone.  
'i don't love you anymore.'  
puff puff. puff puff. puff puff. no amount of smoking forces the words to leave my mind. i snuff out the butt of the cancer stick, let it drop to the floor and stomp on it harshly. i take a deep breath, and once again im reminded of you. the cigarette makes my stomach hurt and makes my hands smell. i can taste the nicotine on my breath. just like every single time i kissed you. the sharp, tangy taste of smoke would fill my mouth as we kissed. the smell of cigarettes would break through the cologne you would try to use to cover it. whenever we held hands, and i pulled mine away, they would smell the same. I remember your laugh, I remember your smile. I remember your name. my hands begin to shake again, and almost instantly, i reach for another cigarette and light it up. it's a constant and cruel cycle of heartbreak and lung cancer. i don't know which one will kill me first. honestly, i dont care. ill do anything and everything to forget about you. the way your bright red hair would glint in the light. the way that your deep laugh would fill the air around us easily. the way your brown eyes would stare at me with kindness. kindness, but never love. i would believe you anyway when you said it, though. you could say the sky was pink and, even if i was staring into the soft blue abyss, I would still believe you. I quickly decided, as i stomped on yet another cigarette, that I would rather smoke my way to death than to ever have to think of your name again. your name. the cycle repeats.


End file.
